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First Post
Mar. 27th, 2021 09:24 pmI never know what to write for my first entry, but here goes. I am in the middle of an evaluation for an official diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). This has triggered much unraveling of the ball of twine that represents my brain.
There is so much I have struggled with since I have existed. I'm 37 years old and am still never quite sure how to socialize with people. I frequently come off as weird or say something inappropriate without meaning to. I have meltdowns that manifest as blinding rage against nothing in particular. I have shutdowns sometimes that make speaking difficult. I have alexithymia which is a way of saying I struggle to express my emotions like others do. Sometimes it takes me days to figure out how I feel about something. So many things I think of both now and from my childhood are fully explained by being autistic. I resonate a LOT with this list.
I'm also still wrapping my head around BEING autistic. Learning all I can has become a new special interest in my large rotation of special interests.
There is so much I have struggled with since I have existed. I'm 37 years old and am still never quite sure how to socialize with people. I frequently come off as weird or say something inappropriate without meaning to. I have meltdowns that manifest as blinding rage against nothing in particular. I have shutdowns sometimes that make speaking difficult. I have alexithymia which is a way of saying I struggle to express my emotions like others do. Sometimes it takes me days to figure out how I feel about something. So many things I think of both now and from my childhood are fully explained by being autistic. I resonate a LOT with this list.
I'm also still wrapping my head around BEING autistic. Learning all I can has become a new special interest in my large rotation of special interests.
